How to Avoid Creating an Email with Attitude
Many people believe the best way to convey a strong or sensitive message in a non-threatening manner is through writing — in an email, a text, a social media post or (God forbid) a written letter. Sending a message in writing may seem to be somehow less personal, less threatening and maybe even less dangerous. Maybe you think you can avoid a scene or avoid an unwanted response like tears or threats.
The fact is that your attitude shows in everything you touch, whether it’s through your tone of voice, in your body language or via the written word. Text messages and email with attitude rank among the greatest offenders these days. Still, these old words stand today:
“Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference.”
― Winston S. Churchill
Be Careful What You Wish For
Imagine for a moment that you need a client to submit some guidance on a project with a firm deadline, but that client is procrastinating and keeps putting you off. You need him to respond or you’re going to miss your deadline. (Of course, this never would happen in real life, right? Things like content delays are fiction.)
You’ve sent several nice requests through email and had a very pleasant phone conversation during which the client agreed with you while reiterating his need for you to meet his deadline. And then — deafening silence. You wish you didn’t have to go through this. You make a mental note not to work with this difficult client again, but you’re still stuck.
So you decide to write another email, this time a little stronger, expressing your need. You say what’s on your mind in such a way that you infer he’s sabotaging the project and making your life a living hell. He responds rather quickly this time by firing you and taking his business elsewhere. You never came right out and accused him of anything, but your tone was very clear.
Words Matter
The words you use matter. As professional writers for our clients, the team at Ray Access is especially sensitive to the impression that tone takes in a written piece of work. Our writers and editors have been on the receiving end of those messages and lost our share of goodwill through a poorly worded email with attitude. But we’ve learned from those mistakes.
Remember, when you send emails and texts, the person who receives your message can’t see your body language. A slightly titled head, raised eyebrows and conciliatory half-smile go a very long way when you have to deliver unpleasant news. But you’re a blank slate when sending an email. Also, it’s really hard to hear your own voice when you’re upset or angry. The words come pouring out when you’re emotional. You don’t often consider how they’ll appear on the other end.
Tone It Down
Tone is difficult to convey in writing. Ideally, you’d have a partner who’s willing to be honest with you (like we fortunately do at Ray Access) to whom you can send an email with attitude before sending it off to its intended target.
“Wow, that’s not really necessary to say,” a true friend or partner may tell you when you’re about ready to blow it up. “Why don’t you phrase it like this…” These pearls of wisdom can save your skin. A few other quick tips to avoid sending an email with attitude that can ruin an otherwise good relationship include:
- Consider your source. If you’re sending a message to someone you know is very sensitive, tone down your words even more and pepper your message with soft-pedaling positivity.
- Ask for clarification from someone before sending an accusatory or harmful note. You actually may be the one who has misunderstood a message.
- Keep it short. You’re less likely to offend in an email with attitude when you keep the word count to a minimum — just stick to the facts.
- Pick up the phone instead. When all else fails, go old school and try a face-to-face meeting. You may be surprised how sharing a meal or even a cup of coffee can set the stage for mutual understanding and respect — just when you thought all was lost.
Ray Access is a content marketing firm that delivers targeted words to empower your business. Contact us about your specific project to receive a quote or discuss your needs. We write website copy, blog posts, e-newsletters and more. Everything we do is thoroughly researched, professionally edited and guaranteed original.
