The Pros and Cons of the Compliment Sandwich
The compliment sandwich is a tool you can use to soften the blow of criticism. People, including your peers and employees, often cringe at criticism (unlike professional writers, who relish feedback). But when you learn to use this sandwich technique properly and in the right situations, you’ll discover it’s an effective way to get your negative remarks across while you:
- Leave the other person’s feelings intact
- Keep their ego unbruised
- Avoid acquiring a reputation as a jerk
- Appear encouraging rather than disparaging
However, there’s always the risk that your compliment sandwich falls flat, especially when it’s insincere. Don’t use it to hide your criticism in a veiled attempt at savings someone’s feelings. Above all, be honest, or your attempt may cause the opposite of your intended effect — and make you out to be an even bigger jerk.
A Good Sandwich
A tasty sandwich is made with two pieces of good quality bread or inside a soft, mouth-watering bun. It’s typically filled with hearty items like cheese, soy protein or meat — and piles of condiments and complementary vegetables. Think of a juicy steak burger on a delectable, fresh-baked artisan bun with lettuce, tomato, onion, mustard and relish.
A proper compliment sandwich is composed of a meaningful compliment on the bottom, followed by a substantial and practical critique or flavorful advice, topped off by concise, worthwhile praise. And while the bun should be warm and appetizing, it needs to be strong enough to hold the sometimes slippery ingredients that sit in between. Maintain the integrity of the compliment sandwich by ensuring all the ingredients are related and go together well.
A Bad Sandwich
Not too many diners appreciate peanut butter and jelly on a burger. Likewise, few believe that a harsh criticism lodged between two superfluous, unrelated compliments is very palatable either. A poorly delivered compliment sandwich leaves the recipient more confused than motivated. Too often, it feels like the proverbial back-handed compliment — which is just as dangerous when delivering negative feedback. A bad sandwich leaves you with someone who’s not very receptive to your feedback.
When you’re served a bad sandwich in a restaurant, you’re usually going to do one of three things:
- Send it back
- Leave it on the plate untouched
- Throw it out
The same is true of taking a bite out of a compliment sandwich — if you take a bite at all. You may go on the offensive and send back the offensive remarks, totally ignore the entire statement or toss it in a pile of useless information that eventually ends up in the trash.
Sandwich Delivery
It behooves you to think about the contents of your compliment sandwich before you deliver it. For example, a staffer creates a new website that has some striking flaws that need to be fixed before you can present it to the client. You can be direct and brutally honest (as some management gurus suggest) and say to your developer:
“I can’t give this mess to the client, fix the content and the layout and get it back to me by the end of the day.”
You can try a slapped together compliment sandwich:
“Your work area is so clean today. This website sucks. But you’ve really been doing well to get to work on time lately.”
Or you can give it a little thought. Look for what the website developer did right first and think about qualities she has that you admire. With the bun in hand, you might say:
“The graphics on this site are amazing. I especially like the charts you inserted. But the rest of the content falls flat and doesn’t say what we need the reader to hear. It kind of jumps around too, making it hard to follow. I know you can fix this in no time because you want to make sure the client is really satisfied. I look forward to your revisions.”
The Final Review
The developer may not like what she hears. After all, she thought she had nailed it and was done. But she’s not completely defeated and feels like she got some praise for her hard work. And if she really does care about her work — and about pleasing you and the client, she’ll give it her best to make the corrections you pointed out.
Used wisely, the compliment sandwich serves its purpose. The person to whom you’re providing the feedback hears what you’ve said and takes it in context. You’ve framed your criticism with compliments and provided specific feedback for the person to add a little polish and shine it up. You’re considered thoughtful and kind, while maintaining your high quality expectations. Forgive the cliche, but that’s a win-win.
Ray Access is a content marketing firm that delivers targeted words to empower your business to succeed. Contact us about your specific project to receive a quote. We write website copy, blog posts, e-newsletters, and more. Everything we do is thoroughly researched, professionally edited and guaranteed original.
