Aren’t Words Serious?
The writers and editors at Ray Access take words — and writing — seriously. After all, clients pay for the words produced. But all work and no play make for pretty dull writing. When words collide is a playful way of saying that words can also entertain, sometimes on purpose and sometimes by accident.
As summer turns to autumn, let’s not forget that life can be fun when words collide. Whether it’s a poor translation or a purposeful slip of the tongue, words used incorrectly can put a smile on your face. Here are some examples, attributed when the author is known:
What Happens When Words Collide?
In a London department store: “Bargain Basement Upstairs.”
In an office: “Would the person who took the step ladder yesterday please bring it back … or further steps will be taken.”
In an office: “After tea break, staff should empty the teapot and stand upside down on the draining board.”
In a safari park: “Elephants please! Stay in your car.”
At a conference: “For anyone who has children and doesn’t know it, there is a day care on the 1st floor.”
At a newspaper office: “A gossip is someone with a great sense of rumor.”
At a library: “The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who can’t read them.” (Mark Twain)
On a country gate: “The farmer allows walkers to cross the field for free, but the bull charges.”
At a place of worship: “We are here on earth to do good unto others. What the others are here for, I have no idea.” (W.H. Auden)
At a math conference: “The generation of random numbers is too important to leave to chance.”
On a bumper: “My mother is a travel agent for guilt trips.”
In an employment office: “Tell your boss what you really think about him and the truth shall set you free.”
At a comedy club: “He who laughs, lasts.” (Wilfred Peterson)
On a T-shirt: “Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.”
At the City Clerk’s office: “Love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.”
At a factory: “The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.”
On a car being pulled by an RV: “I go where I’m towed.”
In an optometrist’s office: “If you don’t see what you’re looking for, you’re in the right place.”
In a psychiatrist’s office: “The only normal people are the ones you don’t know very well.” (Alfred Adler)
From a business coach: “A pessimist complains about the noise when opportunity knocks.”
On a leaflet: “If you can’t read, this leaflet will tell you how to get lessons.”
At Ray Access: “Quoting one is plagiarism; quoting many is research.”
The writers and editors at Ray Access hope you’ve enjoyed this brief detour from the business of writing. While we take words seriously for our clients, when words collide, the outcome can be unintentionally comical. When you need your words to be perfectly clear and on target, contact us.
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